Consequences of a Misunderstanding
by ssbailey
Summary: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. What happens when a night of passion leads to ten months of misunderstanding? And will JJ be able to forgive him? JJ/Rossi.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds**

**A/N: Okay so my muse was being stubborn and didn't want to work on "Lean on Me" tonight so instead I started this three part story that is filled with a healthy dose of angst, but as the old saying goes...'Everything turns out okay. If it isn't okay then it isn't over' so don't worry, it will all work itself out. Anyways I hope you like it and the next part should be up by this weekend. :) Please review and alert too! P.S. the song is Dare you to move by Switchfoot.  
**

**Part One**

"Just two more pushes JJ" Dr. Lee said as she coached her third mom in the delivery room tonight. "_Why do so many young women get pregnant and then decide to give birth alone?" _she wondered.The whole reason they allowed people into the delivery room was to support the mom while she was going through what was quite possibly the most painful experience that she would ever go through in her life, only to recive something so pure and beautiful in return for her suffering.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Good JJ, now breathe. Good, okay last one. Ready?" Dr. Lee asked as the petite young blonde on the bed in front of her. When she saw the weak, but stiff nod of her paitent's head, she tossed one quick sympathy glance over at Nurse Johnson who'd had the unfortuante luck of getting chosen for the coaching position. She just hoped JJ didn't break the older woman's fingers with this last push.

"Okay PUSH JJ! Big push!"

A scream that sounded more like a battle cry erupted from the tiny FBI agent on the bed who was about to become a new mommy. This girl could definitely take care of herself and she wanted to make sure the whole hospital knew about it. As a tiny, but then strong cry escaped into the room everyone grew quiet, especially the now extremely tired and sweaty woman who'd just given birth. "Congraduations JJ. You have a healthy baby boy. Ten fingers, ten toes. Would you like to hold him for a second?"

"Yes" JJ said tearfully happy as her son was placed on her chest while Dr. Lee and the nurses finished cleaning her up. "Hi baby...I'm you're mommy."

_--_

_"Welcome to the planet... Welcome to existence..."_

--

She'd been back in her room for an hour now and as happy as she was with her son she was still sad that she felt she had to do this alone. Why couldn't she have the same story as all the other families on this hall who had just had a baby. Each room with two people in it, one coaching and one birthing. Why didn't things ever work out for her like that?

A lone tear escaped down her cheek, but she swiped it away angrily as she looked down at her sleeping son. "Please don't be mad with me little one." she pleaded with the now sleeping infant, "I thought I was doing what was best for you, but know I realize I was just scared and selfish. I'm sorry I never told you're daddy about you so he could be here to meet you today..." she paused in her apology speech for a second and sat up a little more in her hospital bed when one of the nurses popped her head in the door.

"Miss Jareau there's someone here to see you, a Miss Penelope Garcia. Do you want us to let her in?"

"Please" JJ answered and the nurse left the room to inform the nurses station to let Garcia through. "Here goes nothing baby" JJ quietly told the tiny infant in her arms as she heard the familiar clanking of her best friend's heels come down the hallway before entering her room.

"What the hell JJ!" Garcia practically yelled at her friend, "I get home from work today to find a message on my answering machine from you telling me you had the baby and that everything was fine. Why didn't you call me?"

"I'm sorry Penelope. I just didn't know what to do, okay? I started freaking out when my water broke at home this afternoon and then I realized that I was all alone and it just felt like the walls were closing in on me" JJ began as her eyes welled up with tears and she saw her best friend soften a little, "I'm just lucky that my neighbor was home in the apartment next door and she came running when she heard me scream once the contractions started."

"Oh little momma." Penelope started, practically crying herself, "I'm sorry this turned out like this, but he's beautiful. I take it this means his daddy doesn't know, he's a...well daddy?"

"No, I've been telling myself every day for the past two weeks to just pick up the phone and tell him, but I can't do it. I mean I felt so used and dirty when he ignored me all those weeks after we slept together. I mean it was probably the best sex I've ever had in my life and somehow it just didn't turn out the way sex like that is supposed to end. Instead of "I love you"'s and falling asleep together it was hurriedly pulling up his jeans and leaving my office without saying anything to me. I just can't understand how a person could be so cold, Pen. And then he just left on his 'sabbatical' or whatever for six months like nothing ever happened and then..."

"And by then you were on maternity leave." Penelope finished for her friend. JJ was right, how could someone be so cold to someone who had been so obviously pregnant. What kind of profiler was he if he couldn't see the signs when JJ started running for the bathroom every five minutes once the morning sickness started and then obviously showing after only two months because of her tiny size?

"Are you going to tell him sometime though JJ? I know he's been terrible, but shouldn't he find out from you instead of someone else on the team?" Garcia started. She really believed that he at least deserved to know he was a father, even though he'd had his head up his ass for the past ten months.

"I..umm...wrote him a letter, Pen." JJ said oddly shy-like as she pointed to the enveloped letter on the roll away table, "Could you leave it on his desk in the morning?"

"Sure sweetheart. Now what are we going to call this little guy?" Penelope said as she pointed to the now awake baby who was starting to strech his little arms.

"I was thinking about Austen. Austen Oliver Jareau. Do you think it's okay?" JJ asked as the baby began to fuss a little.

"I think it's perfect Jayje. Now I'll go and let you feed this little monster." Garcia said as she took JJ's letter and put it in her purse, "I'll come back during my lunch break tomorrow, okay? Do you want me to bring you anything?"

"Some fruit would be nice." JJ said as she positioned the baby so he could breast feed.

"Sure thing little momma. I'll see you and Austen tomorrow." Garcia said as she closed the door leaving JJ to retreat back to her thoughts as her new son happily enjoyed his dinner.

--

_"Where can you run to escape from yourself?...Where you gonna go?"_

--

The nightmares always started again in the fall. Always. They were what had caused him to give up on sleeping at 4am and get dressed before heading into work early. He knew he'd be the first one there, getting there around 5am, but he always liked the quiet. Liked his personal space.

A little known fact about him was that he hardly ever drank coffee, only on the really 'bad ones' where he needed to stay awake and stay focused, but for some reason this morning he'd felt like he needed a cup. Or maybe two. When the night guard, Steve, had waved him on through the gate he'd looked at his cup of coffee and sighed as if the appearance of the coffee meant a bad day was coming for even him, the night guard.

When he got to his office he didn't flip the lights on, just the small desk lamp that sat next to his computer. His desk was already full of case files the new Media Analyst had left for him the night before. Agent St. John was a good Media Anaylst, but she certainly wasn't JJ and she certainly didn't have the same calming effect with the victim's and their families that JJ had. Why couldn't he tell JJ that? Why had he left her that night after they'd slept together without a word?

A thick white envelope stood out in the middle of his desk next to all the brown case files that littered it and the bright orange sticky note that was pretty obviously from Garcia read "Just helping out a friend by delivering this. You should read it."

What was going on? Was this something about why JJ wasn't working with them anymore? He'd come back from his sabbatical early after he realized that nothing could get JJ and that night off his mind and that's when he'd learned that she was gone for a few months and that Agent St. John would be taking her place, effective immediately. Hotch had been vauge as to why JJ was gone claiming it was a "personal matter" and that she'd asked him to keep it between them and he had to respect that. He knew JJ and Hotch were pretty decent friends and if she'd needed a break from the evil that they saw every day then so be it. Everyone needed a break once in a while.

Siging he reached for the letter and removed the orange sticky note and suprisingly found his name written in a very familiar handwriting on the front. The hand writing that was most definitely JJ's. But why was she writing him this letter instead of calling? Why him and not Hotch?

Intrigued he open the letter and took out the folded two page note that was written on printer paper and started reading.

--

_"The tension is here...Tension is here..."_

--

_Dear Dave,_

_I talked to a very close friend of mine today and she helped me see that you desrve to know why I'm missing from work and why I left without saying anything. _

_I have to be honest and tell you that when you left me in my office that night after we slept together I felt disgusting and hurt and betrayed. You never even said a word to me as you got dressed and quickly walked out of my office door like nothing ever happened. Why? Were you ashamed of me? Of what we'd just done? _

_The next few weeks were the hardest though. My life was changing and the one person I needed to talk to about it was suddenly avoiding me at every turn. Did sleeping with me really disgust you that much? So much that you couldn't even look at me for the next two months afterwards? I think I cried myself to sleep every night those two months and Garcia and Hotch had to practically take care of me because I was too upset to even function._

_Then as if it wasn't a bad enough situation I get to work almost three months after that night in my office and find out from Reid that you've gone on sabatical for six months. Did seeing me really bother you that much? I would've transfered out if that was really the problem, all you had to do was ask. The Hoover building has been asking me to transfer there for months and I've finally told them I'm going to take them up on it. I can't be on the same team with someone who doesn't want to even be in the same room with me._

_Derek told me that Agent St. John was a Strauss placement and that she offendend the Charleston Cheif of Police on her first case. I guess that's what you get from a newbie. She'll learn more of how it works the longer she stays, you shouldn't worry about it too much, though I know Hotch is. Reid told me that she, Emily, and Garcia got into it on the first case too over how to talk to one of the victim's and I can't say that I'm surprised after learning the details of the case. Garcia told me last week that they were offering her a transfer to the Hoover building as well, you should be careful she might just take it._

_You're probably wondering why I'm writing you this now after almost ten months. And you should know that I'm only telling you this because on some level you deserve to know, so here it goes. _

_I got pregnant that night Dave. I don't know if you knew, even though I don't know how you could've missed it with all the bathroom trips I made and all the briefings that Emily gave because I couldn't keep my breakfast down, or if you just didn't want to know. I know for a fact that I was showing when you suddenly stopped showing up to work so you should've known by then at least._

_You should know that you have a son. I'm going to call him Austen after my grandfather. Austen Oliver Jareau. He was born last night just after 6pm and he's healthy with all ten fingers and toes and a small bit of dark hair. _

_I'm going to leave it up to you on if you want to be in his life, but don't expect me to be anything more than civil to you after what you made me feel about myself for the past ten months. I'm not trash and I don't appreaciate being treated like it or made to feel like it._

_We're at George Washington Memorial in room 415 if you want to come see us, they're letting me keep him in the room with me instead of the nursery, but it's your call._

_I hope you make the right decision and decide to be there for him despite what has happened between us. I sincerely think we can put our differences aside for our son._

_-JJ_

--

_"Everybody's watching you now...Everybody waits for you now...What happens next?...What happens next?..."_

_--_

The letter slips from his hand as he starts to wipe the fresh tears from his cheeks. He'd honestly never meant to hurt her, he'd been afraid that she'd be disgusted with him once she'd realized who she'd just slept with. And he'd been embarassed to talk to her those two months once he realized that she wasn't and never had been. So he'd left on his sabbatical to give them time apart to 'forget' each other, only he couldn't forget, and then she'd been gone by the time he got back. He'd never even considered that she was on maternity leave or that she'd gotten pregnant from that night. How selfish had he been? How could he not have noticed all the signs of her pregnancy?

He knew what he had to do now, he had to apologize to her. Make her see that he never meant to hurt her and that he was sorry. And he needed to be there for his son.

Switching off the desk light he'd just turned on he slipped his coat back on and grabbed his keys and the tear stained letter before heading out the door and practically running to his SUV. He had to get his family back.

--

"_I dare you to move...I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor...I dare you to move..."_

_--_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds.**

**A/N: Well here's part two...only one more to go! THANKS to all who reviewed and I hope you like this part. By the way...next (and last) part will be the epilogue set sometime in the future. Let me know if you have any ideas on what you want to happen in a review. Thanks for reading! OH and every song piece except the last one is from Civil Twilight and the last one is from the Zac Brown Band.**

**Part Two**

Dave sat in his SUV in the hospital parking lot thinking about what he should say and what he should do when he saw her. And him, yes him. Their son. His son with JJ. What the hell? When did that happen? Well, he knew when _that _happened, but still. This was not how it was supposed to happen. He'd been married three times and no children, but not for lack of trying, and now, by chance, he sleeps with one of his coworkers during a late night at the BAU and she ends up pregnant. He has to admit it does sound kind of suspicious when you put it that way, but he trusts JJ and if she says the baby's his, then the baby's his.

Austen Oliver Jareau. Each letter of that name is now burned in his brain and he can only hope to one day replace the little boys last name with his own. How did he let this happen? How did he let her go through this alone? They'd used a condom, and he'd thought she was on the pill, but God always had a way of showing him that he was always capable of what was previously thought impossible. Just look at what the BAU turned into.

He was freaking out now. He knew it, the man in the car next to him knew it, and he was pretty sure the parking deck gate attendant knew it. How was someone supposed to handle this? He had a Master's in Clinical Psychology and as far as he knew there was no rule for this, no protocol to follow on how to react when someone tells you that they practically despise you, but surprise! they've just had you're baby. At least she was willing to let him spend time with Austen, or Oliver whichever one she wanted to call him. How had he let whatever this was get so far that he missed her pregnancy completely and allowed her to think he thought the worst of her?

He didn't know how it had gotten this far, but he wasn't going to let that stop him anymore. He was pretty sure he had already wasted about thirty minutes in the car and a quick glance down at the clock on the dashboard confirmed it. 6:30am shown in green light right in front of his eyes. Was he here to early? Would he wake them up? Should he leave and come back? No, he should stay. Go in and wait if they're still sleeping. Right? Right.

He quickly turned off the car and got out before he could talk himself out of leaving the hospital and locked the door, but not without grabbing the letter first. He clung to it like a life line. Like it had some mystical power or that the words on the paper held some magical spell that had brought him to the hospital. With one quick wistful glance at the rising sun that was visible from where he stood in the parking deck he left his car behind and headed into the unknown, with only a small glimmer of hope that everything was going to be alright.

--

_"What is this I feel, why is it so real...What am I to say..."_

--

She hated the pastel pink walls of her room and the crisp white curtains that framed the window on the left wall. She hated the pale yellow stuffed chair and the light tan television cabinet. But most of all she hated the happy, cheerfulness of her room. It was like it was taunting her...screaming at her of the happy ending she and Austen could've had. Maybe they could have if she had told him sooner. Maybe.

Would he even come see them? Her and the baby that was currently sleeping inches away in a hospital bassinet? She'd expected to feel the things she felt the entire ten months of her pregnancy after she had the baby, but now she just felt selfish. So what if Dave had used her...who was she to deny her son his father?

Her fingers played with the jacket she'd put on. They'd checked her over for the final time earlier and had let her get dressed in her normal clothes. They were going home today, both of them. What if she wasn't ready to do it by herself? Would Dave stay with her then if they needed him too? Would he be angry with her over that letter?

But Emily had been right the morning before and so had Pen when she visited after Austen had been born. Dave deserved to know about Austen. And Austen deserved to know about Dave.

But that didn't stop her from hating the cheerfulness of her room or wishing that her life had turned out for her the way her mother had always prayed it would.

--

_"I am just an image of something so much greater...I am just a picture frame, I am not the painter...Where do I begin, can I shed this skin...What is this i feel within..."_

_--_

"Uh Sir? You can't go in there."

"Excuse me?" Dave asked the overweight woman behind the nurses desk who was popping her gum.

"I said you can't go in there. That's the neonatal ICU. You need doctor's verification to go in there" she told him as she cheerfully popped her gum again, the noise almost causing him to wince.

"Look I'm with the FBI and one of my coworkers just had a baby and she's in room 415. I just came to visit her on my way to work" Dave added as he manipulated the truth a little. Why were they in the NICU? Was something wrong with the baby?

"I'm gonna need to see some ID" the woman said in what she thought was an authoritative tone, "And besides room 415 isn't in the NICU. It's down the other hall and to the left, then all the way to the end."

Relief spread through him like wildfire when he realized the meaning behind the annoying woman's words. JJ and the baby were fine, healthy and fine. They weren't in the NICU, they were on the other side of the maternity floor.

Quickly pulling out his ID he flashed it at her just long enough for her to see that it was real before he left the nurses station and hastily made his way towards room 415. But not before the woman got in one last 'Pop!' of her gum as he walked away, and this time he didn't hide his annoyed wince.

--

_"It's only love, it's only pain...It's only fear, that runs through my veins...It's all the things we can't explain..."_

_--_

There it was. '415' was plainly written on the door right in front of him. A white dry erase board hung on the wall beside the door with the words 'Paitent Name: Jennifer K. Jareau' and 'Baby Boy Jareau' written in blue marker, easily readable. There was no way that this was the wrong room or that she had been moved.

Swallowing the uneasy feeling building up in his gut, he glanced at the letter one last time before knocking on the door and entering cautiously when a soft 'Come In' was heard.

He slowly let the door click closed before turning around to face her having no idea what reaction he was about get from her. He deserved whatever she wanted to dish out at him though. And he could take it, right?

He slowly turned around to find her switching breasts so the baby could breastfeed better. Maybe she thought she had more time before he was going to turn around? "Relax Dave. It's nothing you haven't seen before. Besides he eats every three hours so this probably won't be the first time you see this." Well she picked up on his uneasiness and his deer in the headlights look at what he'd just witnessed. He had _really_ thought that she was _fully_ clothed. Really. But his heart did swell some at the sight of the tiny pink hand that seemed to wave a him a little before resting on his mommy's skin.

How was it possible to be so scared, nervous, and in love all in one moment? "Still, I'm sorry JJ. I should've called...or something...before I came. I can wait outside if you want until he's finished..."

"Just stay. It's alright." she said tightly, he could tell she was trying her best not to get outwardly angry, "Why are you here Dave?"

--

_"Here I stand, letter in my hand, the letter that you sent to me...But as I turn each page like the turning of a wave, I feel you turning me..."_

_--_

"To explain. Or to apologize. I'm not sure. Maybe to beg forgiveness." Dave answered honestly as he tightened his grip on the letter in his hand.

She nodded and he could tell she was thinking, but he wasn't sure what. "Go on."

He took that as a good sign that she was letting him try and explain and moved a little further into the room. "I don't really know where to start except to say that I'm sorry. I thought by leaving you that night that I was protecting you, and me, from what I thought you would think when you realized what we'd done. I didn't know you were feeling the things about you that I thought you were going to feel about me. That's why I left on sabbatical. I thought you didn't want to speak to me and now I know I was wrong about that. I couldn't get you and that night out of my mind and every time I saw you I thought about it, but I thought you were ashamed of what happened between us so I decided that I needed to get away and let you live your life without me causing you anymore problems. I'm sorry I didn't just talk to you about it."

He could tell she was softening some from when he'd first come in the door but he didn't want to push her or his luck so he stayed where he was in the room. "I had no idea you were pregnant. All this time I just thought maybe you were just going through something personal, something that you didn't want anyone to know about it. So I didn't push, and I looked the other way when you skipped briefings because you were 'in the bathroom' or when Emily or Hotch started briefing us. I know that doesn't excuse anything about my behavior or anything, but it's the truth. I really don't know what else to say but I'm sorry and I'd like to be there for him and you too if you'd be okay with that. But if your not I understand, I'd just like to be in his life some. I know you've already taken that job but..."

"Stop. Just stop, okay. I had already decided to let you be there for him if you wanted, it was all in the letter. But as for me, I just don't know if I'm ready to trust you again yet, Dave. I accept what you're saying, but for over a year I thought the father of my child was disgusted by me and I can't just get over that because you come in here and tell me that you had no idea what was going on. I'm sorry" JJ said honestly, "I'm not saying that this will always be this way, but I just need some time to digest this and heal, Dave."

"I can understand that" he told her in reply as he watched her lay the baby on her shoulder and refasten her shirt. A tiny burp was heard in the quietness of the room before she continued. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Please" he replied softly as she handed the baby to him. His child. Their child. Austen Oliver Jareau.

--

_"Well I've seen the sunrise...See the love in a woman's eyes...Felt the touch of a precious child..."_

_--_


	3. Author's Note

Hey guys! Thanks to all of you who read and reviewed this story! Anyways I've decided to end this here and post a multi chapter sequel. It should be up now if you want to check it out. :)


End file.
